Tuesday -, I have a few free hours to blog
Well well well. I have finally grabbed a few minutes , well actually stole them off Giuseppe but he'll not notice. Fear not I'll use them wisely to
update you all with the latest happenings here at Escape.
Since I last blogged way back on March 5th we had just started into the 65 day run of being Brendanless. We are now on day 19 . A long long way to go and with so much happening I do not know where to begin.
Well at the beginning I suppose or will I start from today.
Decision made. I'll start from today while I still have total recall.
Got up 8am feeling nice and fresh but took one look in the mirror and went straight back to bed.
MotherShip rang dead on 9am. "Rise and Shine, Rise and Shine" she repeated before hanging up.
Less than twenty minutes later I was at my egg cooking post having already dropped into the bakery for the crossies. (Crossaints for readers who have been confused with me calling them Crossies for the last three months, folks like Lynn G and I am sure others who have not come forward yet. I'll get to you all If it takes me another 73 years. (Truth be told, I did not know how to spell Crossaints and still don't.)
Breakfast went without any major wars breaking out. Coffee (Organic) but not shade grown as yet (still searching) was made as usual by mothership with lashings of whipped cream straight out of a can.
CUT BACKS - 700ml for the price of 750ml.
We have been buying the same cream for several years now but recently we noticed that the can now contains only 700ml instead of the usual 750ml. The price remained the same as did the can size.
Everywhere you look we the retards of this world are being screwed more and more.
Another example is the soup shop around the corner from us.
In December last you got 1 bread roll with a small soup, 2 with a medium and 3 with a large. As from Janurary you now only get 1 roll with any size soup plus the rolls have shrunk to half their old size. Extra rolls now cost 20 cents extra per roll.
Help!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remaining Escape committee members are working 16-18 hour days. Doing everything from check in's to check out's, looking at leaks, map drawing for guests, luggage carrying, replacing light blubs, replying to over 100-150 e-mails daily (Think Brendan must delete half of the mails every day) answering 50- 150 phone calls and every other nasty little job which come with running any business only worse.
I think guests are the main problem with any hotel. Without them things would be so much easier.
Even myself dear readers your favourite blogging retard has been rail roaded into helping during this Brendanless time. This being the main reason why you have not heard from me in so long.
But I am now putting my foot down , I might even put both down and make a real stand of it.
When asked would I mind lending a hand I said "I am Robbie from Cloud 9, Me clean toilets". but before I could finish the sentance with a NOT I was handed a bag of cleaning items. 1 bottle of Mr Mussel, I wet rag/cloth and 1 dry one, a bottle of red stuff with a nice smell off it, but tasted like shit and several other unidebifyable products.
Go help clean Robbie- Mothership ordered. I looked around in horror as she handed me a list of escape apartments which needed cleaning and an a copy of the famous A-Z of Motherships cleaning tips and a list what needed doing in each apartment.
But I'm a blogger not a cleaner, I bravely managed to get out of my month. But with one look from Mothership I grabbed the bag and ran.
Mothership is not one to tangle with. With one lash of her tonge she's killed many a retard bigger than me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We had Brendan's Brother inquiring about our well being today.
Below is his message and reply.
niAlL ( ANsWerS tO yOuR SIlLy QuEsTiOnS aRe BeLoW IN BlOoD ).
but 1st - tHis LoAd Of CrAp
mOst hAvE lEfT bUiLdInG , sOMe tIeD sHeEtS tOgEtHeR ANd uSeD tHeM To eScApE.
eMmEtT sTiLL mAnnInG tHe pLaCe bUt iS iNsUlTiNg aLl tHe gUeStS.
WhY oNlY tHIs mORnIng i HeArD hIm sAy
"WhAt cAN I dO fOr yOu, yOU fAt cOw."
"gO ORdER yOUr oWN"
WhERe jUsT TWO i hEaRd HiM SaY
kEnNy bOy (Hardy of Laurel & Hardy) Is cHEcKiNg iN aLL gUeSts aNd giviNg gUiDeD toUrs Of All THe pUbS He Is bArReD fRoM. (hE wAiTs oUtsIdE)
RObBie wRiTe bLoG uPdAtE tOnIgHT . sO LItTlE tO sAY AnD So mUcH tImE tOsAy iT.
bReNdAn iS MIsSeD LiKE hOlE iN hEad .
mAy 5th HaS offICIALLY BEEN dEcLaReD nAtIoNal BB.day ( BB RETURNS)
mOrE nEwS wHeN wE gEt iT
oVer aND oUT
DeCAn o'LoOnEy - reporting cOLd from somewhere near you.
Start Escaping with us at AmsterdamEscape.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Niall Bowie
To: Amsterdam Escape
Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 12:51 PM
Hi there Amsterdammers - bARLEY ALIVE
How is life without BB? NoT GoOd , WoNdErfUL
I notice that your blog has come to an ubrupt ending on 8th March. FURTHER TROUBLE IN GREENLAND
As it is now the 21st I was wondering if you had a meeting and decided that hari-kari was in fact the easiest option....
WE BUILD A HARI KARI LAST NIGHT OF BRENDAN and kept warm for a fEw MinS (NoT MuCh To BuRN)
I will assume that if i don't get a reply, then you have all departed for greener pastures. yOu BeT YoUr BoTtOm DoLlAr, I dIved HeAd first InTo A BiG BAg Of *BaSJoE's FiNEsT and SmOkEd It all. (*Basjoe coffee shop)
If not..... let me know how you all are. we ShUt ThE PhoNes, KiLLeD The InTeRNet, TuRnEd Off The WaTeR, TuRnEd On ThE GaS BuT sTill TypInG LaST OpTiOn and HaVE BoUgHt 3 x 6 feet long / 2 metres of RoPe pER ReMaInIng EsCaPe MeMber.
will be over for a visit with my own little ball of fluff in May. Hope to see you then, or to at least lay some flowers on your resting spots. YoU WilL FiNd Us in The 3rd Caravan To The LeFt, _ FlooR ROOm OnLY
Ciow. Moo Moo ,
Niall /Robbie
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
18.03
Sitting in office with Laurel & Hardy, Giuseppe & Emmett.
Death is the subject.
"I have a real pain in my leg " Giuseppe informs us.
"Hope it's not a blood clot" he says. He has being reading all about blood clots today.
He went today for the results of his heart tests, ALL Clear on the western front. I think he was disappointed to hear the news once again.
But since, has been in a great mood.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NEW READERS
A little greeting to Sara and Al. Two readers I picked up along the way and soon to be guests at Escape.
Sent this to them today in reply to their mail.
SaRa LeAvE RoBbIe In ClOsEt.
SaRa BoLd GiRl.
RoBbIe PaRtY WeLl , TaKe mAnY PiLlS . RoBbIe pArTy AnImAl . Me TeAcH hOwTo PaRtY .
RoBbIe BlOg ToDay- RobbIe POmiSe. RoBbIe SaY, SaRa GoOD GiRl in BlOg.
NoW I BlOg OfF. Me WOrK NoW.
OvEr AnD Out
RoBbIE
The Robbiest Retard in five counties
----------------------------------------------
Al -- Help! , I'm in the closet. Get me out of here---
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 5:37 AM
Subject: Re: Tell I do , for Sara is nice girl.
ok it's the 20th NO BLOG, ROBBIE THE RETREAD, IF YOU WANT AL AND I tO ShOw U how to PaRtY, you NeEd to bLoG, dam it, otherWISE, we leave you In the CloSeT wHiLe we PaRty!Love you for Sara is a nice girl.Sara and AL
SARA GOOD GIRL , ROBBIE SAYS.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Other New Readers are our recent guests in Amsterdam Hollywood ROY & Tami . Emmett checked them in and during check in Roy asks Emmett how am I. "Robbie hasen't blogged since March 8th" "He's very funny"
Well Thank you Roy old chum. Makes my effords all the more worth while.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shredding Bills (unpaid)
Giuseppe has taken up a new way of dealing with unpaid bills.
Mothership put several bills from agents and doctors on Giuseppe's desk earlier in the day.
Just now 6.08pm she enquired from him information on said bills . He mumbbled something about having dealth with them. But mothership being Mothership was not going to give up that easy. "Where are the bills" she enquired of Giuseppe. Giuseppe started looking throught drawers, baskets, folders " I only gave them to you today" She explaimed" Surley you haven't buried them already". "Anyway here are two more to look at."
She handed them to him and in front of mothership's very eyes he shreadded them, "There in America , let them chase me". he said.
Mothership grabbed the three remaining bills from his desk which where for sure next to be for the shredder."I'll paid them" she screamed. (not remembering she is DR in her bank account). Mothership never has a cent as she paids Emmett's & all my bills. Truth is I never managed to pay a bill in my entire life. I don't have a bank account, finger prints or passport. I'm from cloud 9. We are way above passports. Why where I go I don't even need roads.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACTUALLY TODAY WAS NOT SO BUSY .
One CHECK IN and one check out .
Check in was for Amsterdam Grass (repeat guest).
The check out did a D.I.Y job and managed to get escape without us seeing them. Those agent bookings are always a bit weird (Bookings taken by agents on our behalf). We had a real crazy one on Friday night just gone. I am saving the story for the correct days entry.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.05am
Robbie's bed time readers.
Up in 5.55 minutes. Going to break all the mirrors in my cave first thing when I get home
Over and Out
Your Retard and Mine
Robbie
update you all with the latest happenings here at Escape.
Since I last blogged way back on March 5th we had just started into the 65 day run of being Brendanless. We are now on day 19 . A long long way to go and with so much happening I do not know where to begin.
Well at the beginning I suppose or will I start from today.
Decision made. I'll start from today while I still have total recall.
Got up 8am feeling nice and fresh but took one look in the mirror and went straight back to bed.
MotherShip rang dead on 9am. "Rise and Shine, Rise and Shine" she repeated before hanging up.
Less than twenty minutes later I was at my egg cooking post having already dropped into the bakery for the crossies. (Crossaints for readers who have been confused with me calling them Crossies for the last three months, folks like Lynn G and I am sure others who have not come forward yet. I'll get to you all If it takes me another 73 years. (Truth be told, I did not know how to spell Crossaints and still don't.)
Breakfast went without any major wars breaking out. Coffee (Organic) but not shade grown as yet (still searching) was made as usual by mothership with lashings of whipped cream straight out of a can.
CUT BACKS - 700ml for the price of 750ml.
We have been buying the same cream for several years now but recently we noticed that the can now contains only 700ml instead of the usual 750ml. The price remained the same as did the can size.
Everywhere you look we the retards of this world are being screwed more and more.
Another example is the soup shop around the corner from us.
In December last you got 1 bread roll with a small soup, 2 with a medium and 3 with a large. As from Janurary you now only get 1 roll with any size soup plus the rolls have shrunk to half their old size. Extra rolls now cost 20 cents extra per roll.
Help!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Remaining Escape committee members are working 16-18 hour days. Doing everything from check in's to check out's, looking at leaks, map drawing for guests, luggage carrying, replacing light blubs, replying to over 100-150 e-mails daily (Think Brendan must delete half of the mails every day) answering 50- 150 phone calls and every other nasty little job which come with running any business only worse.
I think guests are the main problem with any hotel. Without them things would be so much easier.
Even myself dear readers your favourite blogging retard has been rail roaded into helping during this Brendanless time. This being the main reason why you have not heard from me in so long.
But I am now putting my foot down , I might even put both down and make a real stand of it.
When asked would I mind lending a hand I said "I am Robbie from Cloud 9, Me clean toilets". but before I could finish the sentance with a NOT I was handed a bag of cleaning items. 1 bottle of Mr Mussel, I wet rag/cloth and 1 dry one, a bottle of red stuff with a nice smell off it, but tasted like shit and several other unidebifyable products.
Go help clean Robbie- Mothership ordered. I looked around in horror as she handed me a list of escape apartments which needed cleaning and an a copy of the famous A-Z of Motherships cleaning tips and a list what needed doing in each apartment.
But I'm a blogger not a cleaner, I bravely managed to get out of my month. But with one look from Mothership I grabbed the bag and ran.
Mothership is not one to tangle with. With one lash of her tonge she's killed many a retard bigger than me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We had Brendan's Brother inquiring about our well being today.
Below is his message and reply.
niAlL ( ANsWerS tO yOuR SIlLy QuEsTiOnS aRe BeLoW IN BlOoD ).
but 1st - tHis LoAd Of CrAp
mOst hAvE lEfT bUiLdInG , sOMe tIeD sHeEtS tOgEtHeR ANd uSeD tHeM To eScApE.
eMmEtT sTiLL mAnnInG tHe pLaCe bUt iS iNsUlTiNg aLl tHe gUeStS.
WhY oNlY tHIs mORnIng i HeArD hIm sAy
"WhAt cAN I dO fOr yOu, yOU fAt cOw."
"gO ORdER yOUr oWN"
WhERe jUsT TWO i hEaRd HiM SaY
kEnNy bOy (Hardy of Laurel & Hardy) Is cHEcKiNg iN aLL gUeSts aNd giviNg gUiDeD toUrs Of All THe pUbS He Is bArReD fRoM. (hE wAiTs oUtsIdE)
RObBie wRiTe bLoG uPdAtE tOnIgHT . sO LItTlE tO sAY AnD So mUcH tImE tOsAy iT.
bReNdAn iS MIsSeD LiKE hOlE iN hEad .
mAy 5th HaS offICIALLY BEEN dEcLaReD nAtIoNal BB.day ( BB RETURNS)
mOrE nEwS wHeN wE gEt iT
oVer aND oUT
DeCAn o'LoOnEy - reporting cOLd from somewhere near you.
Start Escaping with us at AmsterdamEscape.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Niall Bowie
To: Amsterdam Escape
Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 12:51 PM
Hi there Amsterdammers - bARLEY ALIVE
How is life without BB? NoT GoOd , WoNdErfUL
I notice that your blog has come to an ubrupt ending on 8th March. FURTHER TROUBLE IN GREENLAND
As it is now the 21st I was wondering if you had a meeting and decided that hari-kari was in fact the easiest option....
WE BUILD A HARI KARI LAST NIGHT OF BRENDAN and kept warm for a fEw MinS (NoT MuCh To BuRN)
I will assume that if i don't get a reply, then you have all departed for greener pastures. yOu BeT YoUr BoTtOm DoLlAr, I dIved HeAd first InTo A BiG BAg Of *BaSJoE's FiNEsT and SmOkEd It all. (*Basjoe coffee shop)
If not..... let me know how you all are. we ShUt ThE PhoNes, KiLLeD The InTeRNet, TuRnEd Off The WaTeR, TuRnEd On ThE GaS BuT sTill TypInG LaST OpTiOn and HaVE BoUgHt 3 x 6 feet long / 2 metres of RoPe pER ReMaInIng EsCaPe MeMber.
will be over for a visit with my own little ball of fluff in May. Hope to see you then, or to at least lay some flowers on your resting spots. YoU WilL FiNd Us in The 3rd Caravan To The LeFt, _ FlooR ROOm OnLY
Ciow. Moo Moo ,
Niall /Robbie
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
18.03
Sitting in office with Laurel & Hardy, Giuseppe & Emmett.
Death is the subject.
"I have a real pain in my leg " Giuseppe informs us.
"Hope it's not a blood clot" he says. He has being reading all about blood clots today.
He went today for the results of his heart tests, ALL Clear on the western front. I think he was disappointed to hear the news once again.
But since, has been in a great mood.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NEW READERS
A little greeting to Sara and Al. Two readers I picked up along the way and soon to be guests at Escape.
Sent this to them today in reply to their mail.
SaRa LeAvE RoBbIe In ClOsEt.
SaRa BoLd GiRl.
RoBbIe PaRtY WeLl , TaKe mAnY PiLlS . RoBbIe pArTy AnImAl . Me TeAcH hOwTo PaRtY .
RoBbIe BlOg ToDay- RobbIe POmiSe. RoBbIe SaY, SaRa GoOD GiRl in BlOg.
NoW I BlOg OfF. Me WOrK NoW.
OvEr AnD Out
RoBbIE
The Robbiest Retard in five counties
----------------------------------------------
Al -- Help! , I'm in the closet. Get me out of here---
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 5:37 AM
Subject: Re: Tell I do , for Sara is nice girl.
ok it's the 20th NO BLOG, ROBBIE THE RETREAD, IF YOU WANT AL AND I tO ShOw U how to PaRtY, you NeEd to bLoG, dam it, otherWISE, we leave you In the CloSeT wHiLe we PaRty!Love you for Sara is a nice girl.Sara and AL
SARA GOOD GIRL , ROBBIE SAYS.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Other New Readers are our recent guests in Amsterdam Hollywood ROY & Tami . Emmett checked them in and during check in Roy asks Emmett how am I. "Robbie hasen't blogged since March 8th" "He's very funny"
Well Thank you Roy old chum. Makes my effords all the more worth while.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shredding Bills (unpaid)
Giuseppe has taken up a new way of dealing with unpaid bills.
Mothership put several bills from agents and doctors on Giuseppe's desk earlier in the day.
Just now 6.08pm she enquired from him information on said bills . He mumbbled something about having dealth with them. But mothership being Mothership was not going to give up that easy. "Where are the bills" she enquired of Giuseppe. Giuseppe started looking throught drawers, baskets, folders " I only gave them to you today" She explaimed" Surley you haven't buried them already". "Anyway here are two more to look at."
She handed them to him and in front of mothership's very eyes he shreadded them, "There in America , let them chase me". he said.
Mothership grabbed the three remaining bills from his desk which where for sure next to be for the shredder."I'll paid them" she screamed. (not remembering she is DR in her bank account). Mothership never has a cent as she paids Emmett's & all my bills. Truth is I never managed to pay a bill in my entire life. I don't have a bank account, finger prints or passport. I'm from cloud 9. We are way above passports. Why where I go I don't even need roads.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ACTUALLY TODAY WAS NOT SO BUSY .
One CHECK IN and one check out .
Check in was for Amsterdam Grass (repeat guest).
The check out did a D.I.Y job and managed to get escape without us seeing them. Those agent bookings are always a bit weird (Bookings taken by agents on our behalf). We had a real crazy one on Friday night just gone. I am saving the story for the correct days entry.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.05am
Robbie's bed time readers.
Up in 5.55 minutes. Going to break all the mirrors in my cave first thing when I get home
Over and Out
Your Retard and Mine
Robbie
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