The return of Brendan - day 65 of 65
Well well well today's the day. Day 65 of 65 , the final day . THE RETURN OF BRENDAN DAY. If you go down to office today ones in for a big surprise because gathered their for certain of course will be BB or what's left of him after a 36 hour travel endurance course, Sydney to Bangkok, then Bangkok to London then London back to Wonderland.
Problem is we do not know this arrival time so we are busy getting his desk cleaned and polished. We did try grill his arrival time out of Caroline (Ball of Fluff) but she is some tough cookie and is a hard egg to break, nut to crack a real double Dutch sort of girl.
Even using the special retard truth syrup which we managed to get her to down half a bottle of it without her knowing, but without much trouble as she is quite fond of most things which some in large wine shaped bottles.
Within a few minutes of her first few glasses she started talking and kept it up, we heard it all, the long the short and the small and even the tall all sorts of stuff poured out of her but not the required information. Everything but.
Shutting her one was the main problem after 14 hours of hearing nothing but the truth , stuff you just don't want to hear. Truth about this, that, him, her, me, Giuseppe, her mother and father, 65 days of travel truth and nothing but the truth it gets to a point when swords are drawn and killer beaming eyes start to look for their first victim. " You really hate me do ya"? " You said that about me" . " I agree" . " Bollox". "No way I never said that" "He's a f...... Liar" , More bollox and even more of the same. "What the hell". "You bastard". Bla Bla Bla.
Finally we had to drug her and put her to bed to shut her up.
Anyway we never did find out Brendan's arrival time so we are busy busy busy with 2 months shit piled up on top of it which had to be sorted or dumped mothership and Emmett got stuck in.
Giuseppe was barred from helping as his sorting skills are still developing.
His idea of sorting a desk piled with stuff is still the black bag trick .
1. Hold open black bag
2. Use extended arm and start at one end of desk, shelf or any counter top which is to be sorted.
3. Move arm in a straight direction along the surface sweeping everything in sight along it and off the other end straight into the black sack. " Sorted" Giuseppe style.
3.40PM
Brendan arrives back.
Hugs, kisses, tears, relief and every other emotion you can imagine and even some you cannot.
Brendan and Giuseppe dragged all BB's bags upstairs to his apartment but on opening the door it looked like a war zone. ball of fluff is back less than 48 hours and has turned a newly cleaned apartment looking like a $1 million dollars into a 1* flea pit. Bags, food, nickers all just thrown onto the floor, Tuesday's & Wednesday's dinner plates with the remains of both just piled into the sink.
They saw several mice tucking into a half eaten sandwich left on the window seat and went over to interview them. Johnny & Michael Mouse explained all the going on in the apartment since their (BB's & B.O.F's) departure back in March.
Pickings had been lousy and with the entire apartment cleaned from top to bottom within two hours of them leaving they were starving to death. At one point they had a general mouse meeting and voted 2/1 to pack their bags and move on. Then as luck would have it several large Americans arrived to stay in BB's place. So they decided to stay.
They went on complain about dirty tricks being used against them and that they had lost two of their gang in an ambush recently in the kitchen area. (Mouse traps). Poison was one thing , "We can handle that" but them traps ." We are totally blind you know". They said they were officially complaining and Brendan would be hearing from their lawyers. (Brendan agreed several years ago only to use poison and then only when forced to by BOF). Brendan loves all dog's creatures and cannot stand cruelty to anything or anyone. Will not even kill a fly, catches them and lets them out the window, this goes for all crawling or flying things which most of us squash on first sight but not our Brendan. He loves them all.
Brendan arrived back into the office after a short time after he had carried out the three s's - shower, shit and shave and looked like a new man.
"BB reporting for duty" he announced.
We told him things had changed since his departure and that we had invested in a new booking system as well as new phones and other bits and bobs. Brendan is a creature of habit and does NOT LIKE change.
Anyway within a short time he seemed to take to the new system like a fish out of water -say no more for now but I'll keep you posted.
Well it's heading into the 6th of May real soon so if I do not stop typing now I will be a day behind or even ahead of myself and you know what that can lead too. No not piles.
Well it's good night from me and it's good night from me. I did tell you I am 2 persons in the one Dog.
Over and onwards
Robbie Retard
It's not be baby, it's the mints.
Problem is we do not know this arrival time so we are busy getting his desk cleaned and polished. We did try grill his arrival time out of Caroline (Ball of Fluff) but she is some tough cookie and is a hard egg to break, nut to crack a real double Dutch sort of girl.
Even using the special retard truth syrup which we managed to get her to down half a bottle of it without her knowing, but without much trouble as she is quite fond of most things which some in large wine shaped bottles.
Within a few minutes of her first few glasses she started talking and kept it up, we heard it all, the long the short and the small and even the tall all sorts of stuff poured out of her but not the required information. Everything but.
Shutting her one was the main problem after 14 hours of hearing nothing but the truth , stuff you just don't want to hear. Truth about this, that, him, her, me, Giuseppe, her mother and father, 65 days of travel truth and nothing but the truth it gets to a point when swords are drawn and killer beaming eyes start to look for their first victim. " You really hate me do ya"? " You said that about me" . " I agree" . " Bollox". "No way I never said that" "He's a f...... Liar" , More bollox and even more of the same. "What the hell". "You bastard". Bla Bla Bla.
Finally we had to drug her and put her to bed to shut her up.
Anyway we never did find out Brendan's arrival time so we are busy busy busy with 2 months shit piled up on top of it which had to be sorted or dumped mothership and Emmett got stuck in.
Giuseppe was barred from helping as his sorting skills are still developing.
His idea of sorting a desk piled with stuff is still the black bag trick .
1. Hold open black bag
2. Use extended arm and start at one end of desk, shelf or any counter top which is to be sorted.
3. Move arm in a straight direction along the surface sweeping everything in sight along it and off the other end straight into the black sack. " Sorted" Giuseppe style.
3.40PM
Brendan arrives back.
Hugs, kisses, tears, relief and every other emotion you can imagine and even some you cannot.
Brendan and Giuseppe dragged all BB's bags upstairs to his apartment but on opening the door it looked like a war zone. ball of fluff is back less than 48 hours and has turned a newly cleaned apartment looking like a $1 million dollars into a 1* flea pit. Bags, food, nickers all just thrown onto the floor, Tuesday's & Wednesday's dinner plates with the remains of both just piled into the sink.
They saw several mice tucking into a half eaten sandwich left on the window seat and went over to interview them. Johnny & Michael Mouse explained all the going on in the apartment since their (BB's & B.O.F's) departure back in March.
Pickings had been lousy and with the entire apartment cleaned from top to bottom within two hours of them leaving they were starving to death. At one point they had a general mouse meeting and voted 2/1 to pack their bags and move on. Then as luck would have it several large Americans arrived to stay in BB's place. So they decided to stay.
They went on complain about dirty tricks being used against them and that they had lost two of their gang in an ambush recently in the kitchen area. (Mouse traps). Poison was one thing , "We can handle that" but them traps ." We are totally blind you know". They said they were officially complaining and Brendan would be hearing from their lawyers. (Brendan agreed several years ago only to use poison and then only when forced to by BOF). Brendan loves all dog's creatures and cannot stand cruelty to anything or anyone. Will not even kill a fly, catches them and lets them out the window, this goes for all crawling or flying things which most of us squash on first sight but not our Brendan. He loves them all.
Brendan arrived back into the office after a short time after he had carried out the three s's - shower, shit and shave and looked like a new man.
"BB reporting for duty" he announced.
We told him things had changed since his departure and that we had invested in a new booking system as well as new phones and other bits and bobs. Brendan is a creature of habit and does NOT LIKE change.
Anyway within a short time he seemed to take to the new system like a fish out of water -say no more for now but I'll keep you posted.
Well it's heading into the 6th of May real soon so if I do not stop typing now I will be a day behind or even ahead of myself and you know what that can lead too. No not piles.
Well it's good night from me and it's good night from me. I did tell you I am 2 persons in the one Dog.
Over and onwards
Robbie Retard
It's not be baby, it's the mints.
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