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AmsterdamEscape Blog

Monday, January 30, 2006

Leaving Amsterdam on a jet plane but I know I'll be back again.

Good day readers,
Yes it's the first day of a new week. One I have been dreading for over a while already as tomorrow I fly home to Ireland. Have not been back in 4 years and I know I am in for a lot of surprises. All nice ones I hope.

I am a nervous flyer. Not a fear of flying. Just a fear of traveling. I spend most of any flight praying for it to crash. I know it's very selfless of me towards my fellow passengers but a death wish is a death in anyone's language.
-----------------------------------------------------
Good day good day as Brendan would say and will as soon as he gets back down under. D-Day is March 2nd for two lonnnnnnnng months. Another reason for wanting the plane to crash.

We are dreading his departure and have thought up every known way of changing his mind
"Is there anything wrong with the one I have" he said to us. When we last tried.

Sorry I am going on a rant and rave session. Brace yourelf.
The Right To Die
If the right to life is written into most countries constitutions why not the right to death.
If like me your bored as hell with life and every day is worse than the next I believe you should have the right to put yourself to death. Like in the film Soylent Green . You go to the state dying centre and you watch your favorite movie, listen to your favorite music and just go to sleep. Except in the movie your turned into food to feed the over populated earth of 2022 (not long to go).

We are heading for bad times ahead. The privatization of the worlds water supply is a real bad move for the worlds people. Not long from now (2025) water will be more expensive than oil and only the rich will be able to afford to buy it.

No government anywhere should be allowed to sell of the PEOPLES water supply off.
Places like the UK sold off the water and the companies are now making record profits and the price just keeps going up and up.

Shares in water companies world wide and profits from water are at record levels already. Watch them rise over the next few years.

Once again it's governments helping big business.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well sorry for going off on one there.
------------------------------------------
Todays fights. ding ding round one.

Today in Amsterdam was a very nice day in deed. I woke up in a real bad mood. Got ready (the three s's) and headed to the local bakery for the croissants and then to get the daily duck bread.
Met Giuseppe in the supermarket and got talking to him and came out without what I went in for. With me already in bad mood it did not take long for it to spread to Giuseppe. "I blamed him for letting me come out of the supermarket without Euro 5. (croissant cash). The ATM was broken so I went in to get cash back. After I ranted and raved a little he took Euro 5 out of his pocket and gave it to me. Very generous fella is Giuseppe.

Fights 2 Both happened during the making of the eggs and the eating of the them. With me still in bad form I was being irrate and snappy. Poor Giuseppe had to retreat with his eggs to the office.

I quitened down then and the bad mood seemed to leave my body and float like lead up above me over head.


more later

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Another Amsterdam Sunday, God help us not another one.

Well good day to you all.

Be god if it isn't another Amsterdam Sunday already.

Got up at 10.10am and headed over to make the daily eggs (free range of course) No crossies today as the bakery is closed so we are on the bread also Organic. (tasted pretty shit)

Went on cleaning duty to day as there was a lot of cleaners and very little cleaning (reverse that) So me and my sis got our buckets and bags and headed off to clean Amsterdam Grass .
Grass is a small studio apartment but it seems to take ages to clean the little green devil.
1.5 hours later (23m2 / 230 sq feet) we are finally finished and we head off to our next one
Amsterdam HQ

Cleaning finished at 4.20pm and then coffee time followed by a joint and then back to office.

Duck feeding time, a little later than usual but they seemed glad to see me. They devoured all 4 larged sliced pans in record time.

Back in office.

8pm
All quite on the western front.

Nothing happening except Giuseppe has arrived in and went straight into cleaning and screaming modes. NO SMOKING in office.
He cleaned everywhere, vacuumed, removed all ashtrays, printed signs out and hung them all over the place NO SMOKING.


One sign reads ---NO SMOKING, anyone caught will be taken to fort smith and tied up with piano wire. Another has 4 pictures of people dying of cancer.


He has gone mad religious again, went to video club and rented out the 1977 remake of Jesus Christ (Robert Powell 6 hour version) God help us.


I have just visited the little boys room and he has a NO SMOKING poster hanging up over the toilet and others on the way into the office.

Where will it all end.



10.51PM
Just myself and Giuseppe in office "Just going to roll a smoke" Giuseppe informs me. He has banished all things connected to smoking up stairs to one of the new smoking zones he has created (Even God rested on the Sabbath) I told him.


NO SMOKING-- he shouted at several passers by outside on the street, they quickly crossed to the other side. He has stuck several of his posters up on the small poles out side of the office . Pollution Free Zone they read.

He has really flipped this time. He was on speed last night and I think he is still flying.

" I am too lazy to climb" he says. "Come on we both go roll" I say. I need a joint.


10.57
Smoking break. Back soon

11.51 pm
Nearly a one hour smoke break, no wonder we are broke. If I smoke 10 joints a day and they each average 1 hour . Add it up . It = get fuck all done. Well I did have a hot choc as well and a chat with the sister.

12.06 / 00.06 am
Giving up smoking from February 1st. Giuseppe has driven me to it. Either I commit suicide, murder or I give up smoking joints. I hate cigarettes. I love joints and I think they are quite fond of me also.

Maybe I could commit myself to the local mental hospital. I hear they have a few spaces since the head nurse went on a rampage last month and wiped out 12 inmates. I will apply and see that they say. Anything is better than living around a bible bashing, x chain smoking , (current smoker but not inhaling) , preaching , screaming (It's the Italian in him, they all shout really loud when talking)
psycho

Well it's me bed time 12.13. and I am off .

it's good bye from me and it's good bye from me.

Good Bye, until tomorrow. Sweet dreams. Unless your reading this during the day. NO DAY DREAMING .

Over and Out

Your friend and mine

Robbie Retard
The coolest retard in the west (Freezing outside)

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Getting back in Blogger mode.

Greetings All.

Today is the 27th of January, where did the other 26 days go. I really truly believe someone has given the earth a few extra spins and we have skipped several days if not weeks of this month.It's not possible it's 27 days since I eat myself sick with xmas shit.I am very depressed today. By accident I got a look of myself in the mirror last night for the 1st time in several months if not years, this old man was staring back at me , all wrinkled, lined and very flabby. It took a while to realise that it was me. Isn't time a terrible thing, It should be banned.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I am thinking of suing Jane Goodall for ( Harvest for Hope) making me more depressed than I have ever been before. If you want to read a book which is life changing please beg, borrow or be really good and buy a copy from her site. My sister read it first and cried several times and now it's my turn, I am on page 123 and already I am mad as hell.
I have done some crying also and am now depressed as like never before. It's 2 weeks since any one of us shopped in a supermarket (except for the ducks daily bread) and now I cannot buy anything which is not organic. Real organic. Not Mickey mouse organic. There is a difference.Luckily for us we have a few great organic stores near by. In 5 years I have never been inside any of them and now between us we are spending several 100 euro a week.No more supermarkets for us. -- Change your life and read this book. It's not difficult to change a little more expensivemaybe but as she points out we all eat too much and leave large amounts on our plates, well most of us. Except real fat bastards.So eat less but buy better. A lot of what goes on your plate is actually bad for you. Do you know where the contents your eating has come from? I remember less than 20 years ago we actually knew where are food came from. The dairy a few miles up the road delivered our milk, eggs, butter, cream DAILY. Fresher you could not get. And I am talking several 100 thousand people, not a little town. So fresh that if you did not get up early the birds would fly down and peck the foil tops of the bottles and drink the cream off the top. Milk you buy now a days does not have cream, actually it's not even milk. Only the colour tells you it's milk. Our milk is so fucked around with by the time you actually drink it I do not think there is much goodness left in it.Recently just after switching to organic we happened to RUN OUT OF EGGS so we borrowed a few BAD EGGS from Brendan.Only after tasting them did we realise the difference in the taste. It's totally different. Organic , you can't beat the real thing.We tested one of them which Brendan had bought in the supermarket for freshness (fill pot/saucepan and put egg in , if the egg is fresh it will sink. If it stands up in the water it's old/stale/ A BAD EGG. It stood right up. The packet said they still had 3 weeks of shelf life but they were already gone off.Here is something I found about eggs and how to test for freshnessCan you eat that egg?By Scott MatthewsIf not sure you ought-ter, then place it in water.If it lies on its side, then it's fresh; eat with pride.After three or four days, at an angle it lays.But, it still is a treat, so go on and eat.Ten days, stands on end, in your baking 'twill blend. 'Cause it's definitely edible, in your baking, incredible.But, if it floats on the surface, that egg serves no purpose. 'Cause a floater's a stinker!Out the back door best fling 'er!Better to eat real good food than the shit most of us put inside our bodies and I mean it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Weather Report1.53pmIt's fucking freezing here, and has just started to snow.Office is empty of bodies so I am running to roll a quick joint, see it's in a few minutes.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------2.16PMBack again.Snow has stopped but it's on the way again soon - BIG time.It's freezing.Off to feed the ducks, back soon (does he do any work I hear you ask) I'll answer that one later. Much later.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------2.47PMAround 50 ducks, 1 swan and a load of pigeons all full of brown bread and all happy when I left. I think they are getting to know me as they all swam up to greet me when they saw me coming.Do not think anyone fed them today as it's so cold just standing feeding them frost bite could set in quite quickly. Four large sliced pans a day I buy for the daily duck feeding. It was costing me Euro 1.45 per pan until I was informed about the cheaper one , sorry ducks . They still eat it up like crazy all the same.---------------------------------------------------------------------------Office News.Giuseppe is busy building chairs for the new computers (PC's) we are adding to Amsterdam Loft, Amsterdam Den & Amsterdam High , well when I say building I mean putting together but without reading the instructions. He usually hands you a bad of "Theses are left over bits" after each putting together job he takes on. Yesterday he went out and bought 4 unusual desks for them (Not Ikea). They look good, as luck would have it they came in one piece and not make up jobs.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------TRAVELSI am off to Ireland on Tuesday so I will be AWOL until Thursday , Cannot blog as where I am going there is only a dial up connection and it takes forever. Back to the bog boy. (Irish saying) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Going political for a few minutes. No yawning just read on and take it all it. It effects you as well.Got tax bills yesterday for Euro 16.000 . Feel like doing a Timothy McVeigh on their offices. Sick of this tax thing. It's a crazy but a very clever thing.the way the system is designed, world wide to keep the little guy down and poorish, " Just let them enough to keep them working so we can take over 50% of everything they earn". World Wide elected governments waste our money on stupid "pet" projects thought up by governments ministers or on behalf of big business and mostly against the wishes of the people. Can you imagine we elect theses guys to do what they want with our money." Government by the people for the people" . Remember theses words? Well what the hell has happened. ?Most if not all governments are run by the government for the government (themselves and there friends (big business). Every government is at it, private jets, state banquets, state trips, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Billions of our $$$$ is wasted every year on this sort of thing.Why can they not just book a restaurant like everyone else or a normal seat on a plane or even two if the want a bit of privacy.--------------------------------------------------------------------Reducing governmentMost governments are far too large. Governments world wide should only have 1 person from each county / state / province and these + 1 leader meet to discuss what the people want and how to divide up the budget and best serve the people. Instead we have at present a world wide system in each country where we have 100's of mp's / td's / senators / lords / mep's + millions of civil servants (who actually do the jobs we elect the mp's / senators to do) and millions of others, lobbyists, spokes people, spin doctors, journalists and other creepy people hanging about in the corridors, whispering into the ears of the elected politicians and promising this and that if they vote for or against this bill or that bill.This is a totally crazy system and it's happening world wide. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------The Tax PurseThe tax purse is an endless pit of money and most governments if not all use it as there personal pots of gold.NO ONE who wants to be a politician should be allowed to be one. After the revolution (which starts at midnight) the people from each county / state / providence will have to pick one person who they think is the best guy for the job. No political parties.No 100's of millions if not billions wasted world wide on elections. Abolish the lot of them. And if you think the USA is bad , Europe is twice as bad. Each country has two governments , a national one and a European one. Twice as many politicians.It's know as "getting aboard the gravy train" getting elected to the European parliament .Basic salary Euro 140.000, expenses unlimited, traveling expenses unlimited. What a job. Do nothing , attend a few voting sessions (Not compulsory) and if you do nothing for the entire 4 years , chances are you will be re-elected again because the political parties from each country decide who "the people" send over to Europe, More jobs for the boys.It's a real sick joke on all 460 million citizens of the European union unless of course your already aboard the gravy train.Do you know that the entire parliament moves twice a year. yes the entire parliament gets up, packs there bags and move the entire operation down the road just 200 miles away. This costs hundreds of millions a year Our Money. When they set this great idea up back thirty years ago they could not even agree which country was going to get the parliament so they split it between Brussels (Belgium), Luxembourg and Strasbourg (France).3 different countries.Luxembourg is home to the administrative offices (the ‘General Secretariat’). Meetings of the whole Parliament, known as ‘plenary sessions’, take place in Strasbourg and sometimes in Brussels. Committee meetings are also held in Brussels. Plenary sessions are normally held in Strasbourg (one week per month) and sometimes in Brussels (two days only). At these sessions, Parliament examines proposed legislation and votes on amendments before coming to a decision on the text as a wholeHa Ha Ha,------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Expect the office door to be kicked in any minute any a couple of CIA guys to grab me and fly me off to Poland or somewhere else in eastern Europe.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Great to get that off my chest or as they say in spy language emfd;EKroirvvF554424yyhdjkurt35634fffmmfffuytrewasddfvbnm,./';[p-0998876564w2aasxxcvbbOver and out Robbie Retard most depressed retard in the west.


Today is the 27th of January, where did the other 26 days go. I really truly believe someone has given the earth a few extra spins and we have skipped several days if not weeks of this month.

It's not possible it's 27 days since I eat myself sick with xmas shit.

I am very depressed today. By accident I got a look of myself in the mirror last night for the 1st time in several months if not years, this old man was staring back at me , all wrinkled, lined and very flabby. It took a while to realise that it was me. Isn't time a terrible thing, It should be banned.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am thinking of suing Jane Goodall for ( Harvest for Hope) making me more depressed than I have ever been before.

If you want to read a book which is life changing please beg, borrow or be really good and buy a copy from her site.

My sister read it first and cried several times and now it's my turn, I am on page 123 and already I am mad as hell.

I have done some crying also and am now depressed as like never before. It's 2 weeks since any one of us shopped in a supermarket (except for the ducks daily bread) and now I cannot buy anything which is not organic. Real organic. Not Mickey mouse organic. There is a difference.

Luckey for us we have a few great organic stores near by.

In 5 years I have never been inside any of them and now between us we are spending several 100 euro a week.

No more supermarkets for us. -- Change your life and read this book. It's not difficult to change a little more expensive
maybe but as she points out we all eat too much and leave large amounts on our plates, well most of us. Except real fat bastards.

So eat less but buy better. A lot of what goes on your plate is actually bad for you. Do you know where the contents of what your eating has actually come from?

I remember less than 20 years ago we actually knew where are food came from. The dairy a few miles up the road delivered our milk, eggs, butter, cream DAILY. Fresher you could not get. And I am talking several 100 thousand people, not a little town. So fresh that if you did not get up early the birds would fly down and peck the foil tops of the bottles and drink the cream off the top.

Milk you buy now a days does not have cream, actually it's not even milk. Only the colour tells you it's milk.
Our milk is so fucked around with by the time you actually drink it I do not think there is much goodness left in it.

Recently just ofter switching to organic we happened to RUN OUT OF EGGS so we borrowed a few BAD EGGS from Brendan.
No more supermarkets for us. -- Change your life and read this book. It's not difficult to change a little more expensivemaybe but as she points out we all eat too much and leave large amounts on our plates, well most of us. Except real fat bastards.

Only after tasting them did we realise the difference in the taste. It's totally different. Organic , you can't beat the rel thing.

We tested one of them which Brendan had bought in the supermarket for freshness (fill pot/sausepan and put egg in , if the egg is fresh it will sink. If it stands up in the water it's old/stale/ A BAD EGG. It stood right up. The packet said they still had 3 weeks of shelf life but they were already gone off.

Here is something I found about eggs and how to test for freshness

Can you eat that egg?
By Scott Matthews
If not sure you ought-ter, then place it in water.
If it lies on its side, then it's fresh; eat with pride.
After three or four days, at an angle it lays.
But, it still is a treat, so go on and eat.
Ten days, stands on end, in your baking 'twill blend. 'Cause it's definitely edible, in your baking, incredible.
But, if it floats on the surface, that egg serves no purpose. 'Cause a floater's a stinker!
Out the back door best fling 'er!

Better to eat real good food than the shit most of us put inside our bodies and I mean it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weather Report
1.53pm
It's fucking freezing here, and has just started to snow.
Office is empty of bodies so I am running to roll a quick joint, see it's in a few minutes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


2.16PM
Back again.
Snow has stopped but it's on the way again soon - BIG time.


It's freezing.


Off to feed the ducks, back soon (does he do any work I hear you ask) I'll answer that one later. Much later.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2.47PM
Around 50 ducks, 1 swan and a load of pigeons all full of brown bread and all happy when I left.


I think they are getting to know me as they all swam up to greet me when they saw me coming.

Do not think anyone fed them today as it's so cold just standing feeding them frost bite could set in quite quickly.


Four large sliced pans a day I buy for the daily duck feeding.
It was costing me Euro 1.45 per pan until I was informed about the cheaper one , sorry ducks . They still eat it up like crazy all the same.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Office News.

Giuseppe is busy building chairs for the new computers (PC's) we are adding to
Amsterdam Loft, Amsterdam Den & Amsterdam High , well when I say building I mean putting together but without reading the instructions.

He usually hands you a bad of "Theses are left over bits" after each putting together job he takes on.

Yesterday he went out and bought 4 unusual desks for them (Not Ikea). They look good, as luck would have it they came in one piece and not make up jobs.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TRAVELS
I am off to Ireland on Tuesday so I will be AWOL until Thursday , Cannot blog as where I am going there is only a dial up connection and it takes forever. Back to the bog boy. (Irish saying)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Going political for a few minutes. No yawning just read on and take it all it. It effects you as well.
Got tax bills yesterday for Euro 16.000 . Feel like doing a Timothy McVeigh on their offices.
Sick of this tax thing. It's a crazy but a very clever thing.the way the system is designed, world wide to keep the little guy down and poorish, " Just let them enough to keep them working so we can take over 50% of everything they earn".

World Wide elected governments waste our money on stupid "pet" projects thought up by governments ministers or on behalf of big business and mostly against the wishes of the people.


Can you imagine we elect theses guys to do what they want with our money.

" Government by the people for the people" . Remember theses words? Well what the hell has happened. ?

Most if not all governments are run by the government for the government (themselves and there friends (big business).

Every government is at it, private jets, state banquets, state trips, you scratch my back and I'll scratch your's.


Billions of our $$$$ is wasted every year on this sort of thing.

Why can they not just book a resturant like everyone else or a normal seat on a plane oe even two if the want a bit of privacy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Reducing government
Most governments are far too large. Governments world wide should only have 1 person from each county / state / province and these + 1 leader meet to discuss what the people want and how to divide up the budget and best serve the people.

Instead we have at present a world wide system in each country where we have 100's of mp's / td's / senators / lords / mep's + millions of civil servants (who actually do the jobs we elect the mp's / senators to do) and millions of others, lobbyiests, spokes people, spin doctors, journilists and other creepy people hanging about in the corridors, whispering into the ears of the elected politicians and promising this and that if they vote for or against this bill or that bill.

This is a totally crazy syatem and it's happening world wide.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Tax Purse

The tax purse is an endless pit of money and most governments if not all use it as there personal pots of gold.

NO ONE who wants to be a politician should be allowed to be one. After the reveloution (which starts at midnight) t
he people from each county / state / providence will have to pick one person who they think is the best guy for the job.

No political parties.

No 100's of millions if not billions wasted world wide on elections. Abolish the lot of them.

And if you think the USA is bad , Europe is twice as bad.

Each country has two governments , a national one and a European one. Twice as many politicians.
It's know as "getting aboard the gravy train" getting elected to the European parliament .
Basic salary Euro 140.000, expenses unlimited, travelling expenses unlimited. What a job. Do nothing , attend a few voting sessions (Not compulsory) and if you do nothing for the entire 4 years , chances are you will be re-elected again because the political parties from each country decide who "the people" send over to Europe, More jobs for the boys.

It's a real sick joke on all 460 million citizens of the European union unless of course your already aboard thr gravy train.

Do you know that the entire parliament moves twice a year. yes the entire parliment gets up, packs there bags and move the entire operation down the road just 200 miles away.
This costs hundreds of millions a year
Our Money.

When they set this great idea up back thirty years ago they could not even agree which country was going to get the parliment so they split it between Brussels (Belgium), Luxembourg and Strasbourg (France).

3 different countries.Luxembourg is home to the administrative offices (the ‘General Secretariat’). Meetings of the whole Parliament, known as ‘plenary sessions’, take place in Strasbourg and sometimes in Brussels. Committee meetings are also held in Brussels.

Plenary sessions are normally held in Strasbourg (one week per month) and sometimes in Brussels (two days only). At these sessions, Parliament examines proposed legislation and votes on amendments before coming to a decision on the text as a whole

Ha Ha Ha,

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Expect the office door to be kicked in any minute any a couple of CIA guys to grab me and fly me off to Poland or somewhere else in eastern Europe.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Great to get that off my chest or as they say in spy langauge emfd;EKroirvvF554424yyhdjkurt35634fffmmfffuytrewasddfvbnm,./';[p-0998876564w2aasxxcvbb




Over and out

Robbie retard

The most depressed retard in the west.














Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Tuesdays office is quite as a mouse

More industrial trouble in Greenland today and last night.

I am never out of trouble and all I want is a quite life.

____________________________________________
Freezing in Amsterdam today. Really freezing.
Like living in a fridge outside.

I have started buying 4 large loafs of bread daily to feed the ducks outside our office, only 6 of them so I feed the pigeons also. I then move on around the corner to where there are about 50 ducks, 1 swan and 2 water hens.

I am now doing it for over a week and they are getting to know me. I go the same time everyday. Nothing like regularality when it comes to feeding times. I learned this from my weekly visits to the Zoo back when I was a lot younger back in Dublin. Every Saturday or Sunday we would all head for the Zoo. In them days only family members were allowed in on the membership card. 4, 5 or 6 of us would arrive up at the members gate, All Brady's , red heads, black heads, brown heads and all looking totally different. We all had to sign in the members book, all the way up to the zoo I would be questioning them about there new name.

We used to get some real odd looks but they always let us in. They changed the rules now, any 6 people can enter on a card.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Take a look at the following , if your a meat eater they could change your life.
http://www.storewars.org

http://www.themeatrix.com
---------------------------------

Friday, January 20, 2006

It's Robbie , I'm back alive again I think.

Greetings Everyone ,

Not sure where I am, who I am with, where I am going or even how to get there. I forgot my watch so I do not know the time, I forgot my wallet so I have no money and I have just lost my life long crime free record.

I stole a bag of currant buns from the BIG mall / market. Just my way of helping the little guy.

Yes it's me Robbie.

I am back

Sorry I'm gone again.

Spent the day doing very little.

watched 3 hours of Democracy Now.org TV .
http://www.democracynow.org/ Mother ship's boyfriend (Frank The Yank) send it to her. The truth in the news. Amazing the shit we let them get away with.

I am going to watch 4 hours tomorrow, 5 hours on Monday, 6 hours on Tuesday so by the end of the month I will be a TV addict, well I have tried all the other addictions, drugs, drink, smoking, gambling so I'll try TV for a while and at the same time keep up to date with the latest scandals Uncle Bush is carrying out on the rest of us fools.

The revolution starts at midnight - pass the word.

Robbie

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Help I am moving - mountains, blogs, address, city, country and anything else I can think of.

January 11th 2006.

Good day readers . Jesus what a night, what a day. Hell is still a poppin but mostly in my head.

I escaped in one piece and have not gone back yet.

I have nothing left but my good lucks .








What the future holds no one can tell.

I am using this blog as a stepping stone to regaining my position at Amsterdam Escape.

If enough of my counterfiet "Bring Robbie back" e-mails get returned I am sure to get reinstated but one can never tell.

I am busy at present moving blog from where it was to where it's going to be. I can say no more at this time as walls have ears not to mention wire taps, mail reading for key words etc.

keep you posted

Robbie

Ps-- Hope to have normal blogging up and running this weekend.













The day after the day before


Good day to you all.

Sorry I have not written in 8 days. It's been crazy. After the coup in the office on the 10th January 2006. I find myself jobless, homeless, Godless, moneyless, lifeless and no eggs either.

Yes I am managing to keep me head above water. I am staying in a small hut owned by a friend of a friend of a cousin of my next door neighbour . It's full of junk and just room enough to squeeze a mattress in and myself.

I am not alone I have a large spider keeping me company, I have called

him Erik. Since reading Jane Goodall - Harvest for Hope, I cannot even hurt a spider never mind a fly. I love em all. I really think the time has come to escape this escape business and go and help animals where else away from this


Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Hell's a poppin

Greetings Readers ,
I am blogging LIVE and UNEDITED today from my emergency fall out shelter here in the office.
All hell has broken out here, BB, Giuseppe and Emmett are all gone crazy, 1 has totally flipped, 1 is totally silent and the other one was last reported to be locked into the Snug apartment with the key in the lock and a 'No one at home" sign pinned to the door.
At this point I cannot make out which is which as I only have a tiny angle of vision from my emergency bunker.
But with cannon fire almost non stop I dare not venture out yet. I am relying on reports from Mother ship and Gerry
It all started after one of them read recent entries in this very blog. Yes I kid you not, This BLOG is responsible for office war 3. The person in question went totally ballistic and took his base ball bat out and used in on Emmett's new computer but in his crazy rage mixed computers up and smashed BB's instead, He blamed Emmett for the blog entries for some unknown reason only known by himself.
This and the X factor drove BB into a deep depression and was silent all day and irate and snappy on the phone. No one dare ask him anything, all questions were passed to Gerry on white post it notes (Him being Neutral) He then sneaks them on to BB's desk when he was visiting the little boy's room which luckily for us he does quite often. With at least 20 questions asked of him daily , Gerry has been quite busy.
"He's fine with me" Gerry the brother shouted out from behind one of the barricades while waiting for BB to take break so he can place a few more questions on his desk. Gerry has been the go-between all day reporting back to mother ship (Dee) on what the 3 were up too (triple agent, and looks the right shape for it too).
Giuseppe has entered the Blog and started answering the remarks made about him over the recent days.
BB is refusing calls from VIPs (ie- Girl friend)
Emmett still A.W.L.
6pm ---- LATEST UPDATE
Gerry has reported that one of the 3 intends to pack his bags and bail out. " This is no life" where some of the words reported. Others where " Duck" and " I want my money"
BB has left the office.
Giuseppe is still ranting and raving about this and that.
8.30pm
Emmett has entered the office with a white blanket draped over himself and has his gym bag with him.
He grabs his bag of drugs and dashes out the door. Last seen heading back towards the snug.
10.30
All quite on the office front.
No noise, I'll venture out and inspect the damage, have my hot choc and report back.
Back soon with report
12.21am
I am back from my hot chocolate break with the latest. Giuseppe has now done a 360 on us and is now high as a kite , on top of the wave and being as good as bronze, but approaching silver and may hit gold by morning. Keep you posted.
No sign of BB or Emmett and I have hunted high and low but not a sign of them. Not under desks or over ground. Not a sighting of them all evening.
Office looks worse for wear, 1 x broken computer, 2 x crushed lava lamps, 3 x white flags made from Dee's best sheets lying over two home made barricades made from a filing cabinet and a Chinese dressing screen (imported from China in 1987 by Dee on a visit there) 4 x cracked bulbs and a half dozen or so eggs smashed and covering Giuseppe's computer and the heater behind which are half scrambled from the heat and looked quite tasty ( We made NO eggs this morning - more industrial trouble in Greenland I guess so I am starving). I was just about to tuck in to them when I noticed the eggs were on the march, a moxey load of little ants were carrying it off to their hideout. Fuck there goes dinner I thought to myself so I let them have it. I opened up on them with all my might.and crushed them and the eggs to a pulp.
Being as hungry as a mule I ate the pulp up and licked my lips, not bad, not bad at all.
Well that's all I can report but do report back for more - Remembering tomorrow is another day.
Sleep tight
Robbie Re

Monday, January 09, 2006

A bad start to New Year

Well hello sports fans and welcome to another day of sun and fun. The sun is shining outside but it's freezing cold and I am afraid fun has yet to show his head so all we have is moan, and sadness has just arrived in exactly the same time as last year.
Looks like 2006 will be just as good as 2005 was but they say you should never judge the future by the past, but I always do.
We have just had a phone call from our neighbour complaining about the noise coming from the new water pump we installed over New Year. Says it keeps him awake at night and wakes him up in the morning.
11.42 Am - The mood in the office is deadly, not a sound, no music playing (always a bad sign). happiness nonexistent. I think BB is about to snap and go crazy, bets are on by 1pm he has left the building.
I'll be back.
5pm,
Well I lost, BB still at the helm but very quite indeed.
Sparks could fly any minute.
Spend most of the day doing bits and bobs, odds and sods and the night working on Barcelona Site.
Not sure where the rest of the evening went too. I never got to go to the gym.
Last time I checked the clock it was 8pm and now it's past the witching hour and my bed time.
Really need some sleep.
Well my fine feathered friends I must go
Hope the mood is better tomorrow
Over and Out
Robbie Re
The most depressed retard in the west
-------------
We received a nosense mail today from Delhi, all about making pancakes or some other crap so we deleted it so we will not be going over to Delhi today.
Sorry Dave but we do have to keep standards up.
--------------
Something a bit funny anyone?
Unusual Interviews
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants.
The lowlights:
Said he was so well-qualified [that] if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent.
Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
Brought her large dog to the interview.
Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.
She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.
Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.
Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.
Asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.
Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office.
Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.
Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.
Wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.
When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.
Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.
Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.
Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.
Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.
Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.
Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much.
While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.
During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.
A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Whiconducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more. "I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.
An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.
His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.
He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.
He took off his right shoe and sock, removed a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.
Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.
He whistled when the interviewer was talking.
Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.
She threw-up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.
Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.
Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.
Hope you got the odd chuckle, I did,
Later Dudes
Robbie Retard

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Depressed state of mind

Well if I make u depressive I will take my way but not after 3 years to stay in this fuck dump office . If u like see me out u must go a head. Than I will _Giuseppe
Well here we go again. 7 days in and my 1st depressed day has arrived, It started last night. After waiting over 1 hour in the freezing central station for Giuseppe to arrive back after his Christmas break back home. " Will you meet me at the airport" he asked. " What, I will in me bollox" I replied
" Me go all the way out there" I added.
That's very nice from u.
He sounded unset no one was going to meet him, but I did not give in. How I find myself in theses silly waiting games I'll never know.
Meeting people at airports, people who live in the same house as yourself (Giuseppe) who have only been away for a few days and who know where they live without any help from me or big brothers who visit each year and know how to find there way, Why oh why do I get the job of collecting theses people every time.
Thanks a lot !! I'm such person
Well as I arrived at central station to go to airport once again, Giuseppe phones me to say he has already arrived.
So after a few minutes of an annoying phone conversation I finally understand that I will meet him at central station instead of airport.
1 hour later and after reading the Guardian newspaper and consuming 1 apple flap, a coffee and a croissant I am still standing waiting.
Finally he phones, "Where are you I am waiting at the trams" he informs me. The anger rises in me and my blood pressure hits the roof of my head and I must have a killer look on my face as people are startled by me as they pass by. I start walking around to the other side of central station.
Where was the point to be angry like that -Giuseppe
I am totally freezing and I think I have just caught a cold ,flu or something worse but it's not all bad, I think I have just set a new personal record, I have gone for over 1 hour 12 minutes without rolling a joint, Not bad going.
As I round the corner towards the other entrance to Central station I see him and the same second he spots me.
I am freezing and want to get the metro but as usual he wins and we walk.
I feel myself getting more and more depressed and the anger and hate are growing inside of me at an alarming rate.
We arrive in office and the usual greetings are carried out, coffee is made and we then go back to our normal routine.
Giuseppe goes home and I stay in office for a few hours more dreaming of ways to rid myself of the nightmare.
I will not dream not more but I will have my 3 years back I promise. Go to your account or police and fire me.
List I don't ..................well We know

Night Night all, pray I wake up in a better mood.
Robbie Re
The most depressed Retard in the west.

Something I dug up for the writers among us.
Creative wording
BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN
You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.
A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words:
"Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885. Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889."
Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a bit. We simply crop the picture, scan in an enlarged image and edit it with image processing software so that all that is seen is a head shot.
Next, we rewrite the text:
"Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.
Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."
----------------------------------------

Hello again, just shows how the a few words can change everything.

Something else you won't like is below

Spelling checker
Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
-- Sauce unknown

Night Night sleep tight -- Robbie

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Giuseppe arrives back

Woke up very late and got up even later. around 1pm.
Not remembering I had so much to do today before the arrival of his majesty Urso at 5.30pm.
Got dressed and headed towards the office.
I have 4 hours to turn the mess into an working office.
I got stuck in and amazing as it sounds the place looked 112% better than it did 4 hours previously.
4.59 PM
I go to meet Giuseppe but his plane arrives 35 minutes early, some why to run an airline, planes are supposed to be late not early.
Finally met him in Central station (see Sunday 8th for full story) and helped carry his bags.
I spend the rest of the night in the office alone.
Giuseppe headed home as he was tired.
All in all a very boring day indeed.
A few jokes or something a bit witty or even slightly amusing is required I think to liven up this rather dull boring Saturday blog.
Let's see what I can dig up...
The English language
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.
8.58pm ---Well not bad for starters, but I'll go a dig a little deeper, back soon.
9.12PM
Found this after much searching. Not great but It will fill in a few minutes for you while I find better.
Amazing Anagrams
Dormitory == Dirty Room
Desperation == A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code == Here Come Dots
Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em
Animosity == Is No Amity
Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z's
Alec Guinness == Genuine Class
Semolina == Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point == I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one
Contradiction == Accord not in it
This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Becomes:
In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.
And the grand finale:
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong
becomes:
A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!
Well I am back again with this.
Europe English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!
Well me go now, no more room on the page, see you tomorrow

Friday, January 06, 2006

Help! I need a brain transplant

Well dear readers it's Friday today and I am feeling like I need a brain transplant urgently either that or I need a length of rope.
I should not be writing this tonight as it's not Friday at all, it's Sunday and I am depressed. If only I had of written this on Friday when I was supposed too then all would be Ok. But I didn't so between Friday and now 9.53PM Sunday I have gone from the top of the wave right to the bottom , I am heading on a downward slope, the highs and lows, the ups and downs and all that.
Friday is so long ago I cannot remember what happened, what didn't happen, where I was and where I wasn't. All I do remember is cleaning the office, packing away stuff so it will not be thrown in the bin.
Nothing major must have happened or I am sure I would have remembered but maybe not.
I think it looks like we will have to fill in with a few jokes and shit or another idea I had was to increase the size of the print in future so I will have less to type. Clever ain't I.
Well what does 2006 hold for us. I tell you all about it in 358 days time, stayed tuned.
Robbie Retard
--------------------------------------------
I got a few laughs from below, hope you do too.
Disorder in the Court
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something
you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did
you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy on him!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practising law.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

A mixed sort of day

Well it's been one of those days, You know the type, the sort of day when you get very little done and take all day to do it. The sort of day you can't put your finger on what you did and if someone asked you " What did you do today" .You would have a hard job telling them.
I put it down to lack of eggs, withdrawal , going cold turkey,
We had no eggs today so I did not go for the crossies and saved Euro 3.40 which went straight into my piggy bank. My liposuction fund.
------------------------------
A colder day today but not too cold.
Desperately sorting out the office before Giuseppe arrives back as he just throws everything out to the bin. There is all sorts packed in all sorts of places. After finishing coke apartment we just fucked everything into boxes and bags and ferried it back to the office for sorting.
-------------------------------
On cleaning duty again today., Amsterdam Grass and a few others.
--------------------------------
spend the rest of the evening sorting out the office before this majesty arrives back from Italy.
Not much happened today so I am nothing to say so I will say nothing more.
1am .
Sitting in office with Brendan. He has been phoning off the clan back home in Sydney. He is getting excited about his trip home. We will hear of little else between now and March 5th.
Well I am off home now as I am tired and I again need some beauty sleep.
Onwards and upwards my dear readers and I hope you all tune in again soon.
Robbie Re
The fattest retard in the west.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A busy day cleaning

Well well well fancy seeing you here, just shows the power of word of mouth. My readership is growing. I can see my name in lights way way way in the distance or is it an on coming car.
My eye sight is not the may west.
I have had 2 operations to correct the sight each time a success but as with everything it does not last , must be time for number 3. I was told the 1st time it was a once in a lifetime operation , last for ever . Within 4 years I was back again and they tried the latest version of the operation on me. They were a bit nervous about doing it again I must say but the main man (Mr Fintan Lavery) took charge of me personally.
I guess I need a return visit to him and the latest version again.
Also need a face lift and a nose operation my pelvis realigned and a few other minor adjustments. Nothing to worry your pretty little heads about, I'm not going to suddenly stop blogging, why non even after my last triple by-pass did I stop blogging. I was blogging within 4 hours of the operation. I'm a blogger born and bred.
------------
Got up at the usual time - 9am.with the usual cheerful call from my skin and blister, "Good morning" . little bruv.
Got the crossies and made the eggs. Dee says" I think I am sick of eggs"
(copy cat). So we are both sick of eggs. No more eggs. What will we eat for breakfast?. Pause ...... Pause....... Eggs?
We have put off this decision until we vomit (sorry).
It's costing me over Euro 22.00 a week for crossies. Euro 88 a month so I will be richer if we give up the eggs. I think I will vomit real soon.
I got a new reader today , one of our guests told Brendan on check in that she reads the blog daily, Welcome new reader I know who you are and I'll be around to your house to welcome you personally and I don't mean the one your renting in Amsterdam.
------------
Today I rejoined the cleaning crew as it is busy busy busy. During the cleaning I happened to see myself in a mirror , Help I am faT (with a capital T). I think their back I said to myself. (readers will remember that I have been having problems with people living inside of me, I seem to be a magnet for them. As soon as I get rid of one or two of them another two or three take their place.
I am an odd shape. A cross between a barrel and pig.
I read an advertisement saying "Look like a pig"? Well join us and become something else , So I started attending classes. It went something like this
My first lesson the guy started by saying " First things second we'll all start by drawing a pig and find out what your drawing of a pig says about you and your personality" (Sounds suspect I thought to myself) I am here to loose weight and look like someone else. He made us all
Draw a pig
(839,285 other idiots have) (Warning Warning go here only if you like pigs and other low life's)
---------------------------
Today in Amsterdam was also a nice day, sun in the sky and everyone happy. Giuseppe rang to inform us he is coming back on Saturday (God help us) There are several daggers drawn already and others are currently searching for their's or out shopping for replacements.
----------------------------
Gerry seems to have been up to his usual tricks , Brendan is complaining about his computer going slow. Every year Brendan says "Keep that fucker of my computer" and every year Brendan's computer goes slow or worse.
One year we lost an 6 months mails.
Fingers crossed/ touch wood and anything else you can think of.
1.02Am update-- defrag in progress
----------------------------
We have received several complaints from readers about my bad use of English. What to do want, Chinese.
Main complaints are my use of to, two & too and their, there and they're
They wanted to eat their victim but they're too late by two o'clock.
I will write this 99 times more and I hope this shuts most of you up for a while. I promise to do better.
Well that's all for tonight, I am already 8 minutes late for my late night cup of hot choc. (11.38pm)
Onwards and upwards
See you around soon fruitcakes. As they say in Lapland " Burrrrrrr it's f...... freezing.
LIVE UPDATE 1.05am
I am getting fatter by the minute, I think an entire family have just moved in.
Doctor, doctor
Rob

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A quite day in Amsterdam

Well hello there all my dearest readers (all 3 of you) , yes you're one of them.
Got up at the usual time of 9am my alarm clock (Sister) on time as usual.
A very nice day in Amsterdam, Cold but sunny and no wind. The canal is nearly totally frozen over but not thick enough to start skating unless your a duck.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Got the croissants (Up 50 cents ) now Euro 85 and made the eggs, I Must confess I am getting a bit sick of the old scrambled eggs every day since 1987. But with nothings else to eat for breakfast I will have to continue eating them. 21 eggs a week and 14 croissants.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Busy day on the cleaning front, 11 cleaning jobs this week so I am joining the crew this week.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Had a great guest down with us today, Her name is Claire (Not her real name just in case) and she is slightly crazy (like meself). We have a great laugh, She was telling me all about how she joined the army reserve, She was in her local mall (shopping centre) and was walking past the recruitment office and on the spur of the moment joined up. Next thing she knows is she is over in Iraq. How the hell I ended up
She was telling me all about how crazy it was over there.
Things like Halley Burton employee's sitting about in an airconditioned trailer while they employ a load of lower life forms to do there job.
After a days work the terrorists / freedom fighters throw anything they can get there hands on over the walls, hand grenades, mortars etc, some explode some don't. But usually the days work is blown up so the next day the lower forms arrive for work and start to rebuilt the things which were blown up during the night and this goes on and an over and over day after day, month after month.
She says the Halley Burton people are on 5 times the salary of any solider, She was on $3000 a month but Halley Burtons are on $15.000.
She thought many times about claiming to be insane or gay or shoot her toe off just to escape but she says it's best just to keep your head down (in all ways) and get on with it because if you get dishonorably discharged it will effect your entire life,
She got enrolled for 8 years. Anytime during the 8 years you can be recalled to serve. She is now doing medicine hoping to become a doctor but at anytime she might have to give up the studies and head off to help in the latest American government (regime) change.
At least she is seeing a bit of the world I guess.
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5th January - just noticed I never finished this page.
Sorry, I ain't doing it now so there.
Move on to tomorrow and I'll see you there.
Robbie Re
The stoniest Retard in the west

Monday, January 02, 2006

A lovely day in Amsterdam

Woke at 9am , got the crossies and made the eggs.
Did not feel like eggs today but I ate most of them anyway.
Sun is shining, not to cold so a very nice day in deed.
Cafe's have seats out and most are full.
Helped the cleaning crew today and then went out to replace the office computer screens and other bits.
Started sorting through the pile of boxes which came back to the office after finishing the new apartments. I have to get it all sorted by Saturday as when Giuseppe returns he will dump eveything in the bin.
As usual all day today every Chinese business in the area is blessed by a huge dragon and the letting off of some of the loudest fire works you will ever hear, Each one like an explosion and just think we are surrounded by Chineses businesses. THis year they seem to have added all the businesses which supply the Chineses commumity here. Our next door neighbour (fish shop) was blessed a few minutes ago. He is most popular with the Chinese as they love fish.
The clean up operation after New year was almost complete, a few rocket and the odd bottle still lying about but after the Chinese today it's covered in red paper after the firworks.
10.30
Still lovely outside, no wind and not cold. Long may it last.
Taking a early night tonight as I really need a bit of sleep.
So this is where our trails part.
You go your way and I'll go mine but in the mean time while your still here I'll show you my New Years Resolutions
1. Stop smoking drugs before 6pm.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time & Euro 60 a month
3. Read less. Makes me think too much.
4. Watch more TV. I'm missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Stop doing lunch and save Euro 11.00 a day.
7. Get in a whole NEW rut!
8. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
9. Don't eat cloned meat.
10. Create loose ends.
11. Get rid of all toys.
12. Get a bike
13. Don't believe what you read.
14. Break at least one traffic law.
15. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
16. Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
17. Associate with even worse lwer forms.
18. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.
19. Wait around for opportunity.
20. Focus on the faults of others.
21. Mope about faults.
22. Never make New Year's resolutions again
Over and Out
Robbie

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Only 364 days to go

Well Hello there my dearest readers and welcome to another sodden year. I do hope it is kinder to us than it's brother 2005 was who has just passed on.
2005 makes 1985 seem like 1990. Three of the worst years of my life, if you count 2001,2002, 2003 & 2004 you'll get the 7 worst years of my life.
Maybe 2006 will have happier memories for us this time next year.
But I would not like to bet on it.
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I am now entering my 2nd year of blogging (well day 67) but over a 2 year period 05/06. I am well and truly a blogger now.
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Woke up rather late today. 12.00 noon.
No hangover as I do not drink, No drug over doses, as I am retired from them, no late night partying as I do not party, no all night sing along's, for I do not sing. Infact I do very little and I understand even less.
This could be put down to smoking 20 joints a day,
I would personally not put it down to it but there are many who would.
Bu sometimes I do fear the worst.
I would not say I am lazy,
I would not say I am totally crazy but I am getting there.
You do loose your "Get up and Go" sometimes and it is true your short term memory also goes.
But you have to expect theses things.
The world is so annoying anyway best not remember too much about it.
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New Years Resolutions
Some years I do a list of New Years resolutions but not this year, last year I quit smoking drugs for about 2 hours, a record for me which I still hold. I was going to try beat it this year but quickly changed my mind or what's left of it.
Maybe by the time it's totally melted you will be able to buy new ones on the black market. Wink wink , nod nod, say no more, say no more.
and By 2050- Dial a Brain.
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We have planned an outing today to celebrate the New year.
We are all off to the movies , IN Her Shoes.
Dee, Caroline, Me Gerry & BB. 9.30 show.
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Ordered a pizza for dinner and also one for big boy Gerry.
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Got my weighting scales out tonight electronic. 1st time in 5 years.
I weighted 12 stone .11 lbs or 80kg- sweet Jesus I am fat.
Dee also weighted herself and was quite shocked as for Gerry why he is only 3.5 stone more than I am. I am in deep shit.
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In Her Shoes
Went to the movies. Brendan and Caroline never showed up so there was just the 3 of us. I think BB must have seen a review somewhere and said nothing. What a load of Rubbish. 1/5 .
Came home and looked for reviews of the movie
1st review says
In Her Shoes Review ::10.02.05::
Posted by: Liam Source: Empire Movies http://www.empiremovies.com
...there's not really a lot not to like about this movie...
All the reviews say how wonderful it is, just shows you how much of a retard I am. It's me against everyone.
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Well that's it 1st one gone already only 364 to go.
See you all tomorrow
Robbie Retard
2006