I'm a blogger not a fortune teller

Hello , what are you doing here.


Are you not being a bit premature?

Please remember I'm a blogger not a fortune teller

Now go away, but do come back when the day is right.

In the meantime check out the rest of ME blog.

or for last years load of shit visit here http://www.amsterdamescape.com/amsterdamescapeblog.html

You never know what you'll find. Brace yourself.

Giuseppe heads for Home

Calling all readers , calling all readers.

today's Head lines and low lines.

1. Giuseppe departs for hotter climate.

2. Weeks ceasefire called.

3. All remaining Escape committee members are all in pain in one way or other.

Pain
Ever had some? Real pain? I am talking PAIN not PAIN
Myself- I have pain and I am waiting today to hear from someone, anyone will do, ice cream sales man, doctor, Nero surgeon or whatever.
http://www.pain.com/

BB. Pain in throat and other parts. But is on the mend.

MotherShip - Strange rash on back of her neck.

Emmett - just one big pain.

and just before his departure this morning Giuseppe reported a pain in his lower back/bum.

All escape members need to Escape.

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GIVE US OUR DAILY EGGS.
Today seemed like yesterday to me but as it was not I headed to the bakery to get the crossies (
Croissants ) x 6.

On entering the kitchen area I noticed all was NOT normal. Monday 15th. Departure day for our Italian stallion. I bought 8 crossies but it ended up as eggs for 3. Just mothership, Emmett and myself reported for egg duty which was followed by downing a liter of lemon and lime juice (organic) and a lovely cup of fair trade coffee. NO Nescafe crap for us. The difference in taste is unreal. Remember you're just paying for all that advertising and getting lousy coffee. Fair trade is cheaper, better tasting and helps the poor farmers who grow it instead of making the Nescafe share holders richer. Help the Farmers get a fair price for their product and get a lovely cup of coffee at the same time.

I drink a lot of coffee. I am made up of 85% coffee, 16% water, 9% shit & 1% perspiration.

Switch brands TODAY. Look for or ask your supermarket to stock it Read here all about how you can help spread the word. http://www.globalexchange.org/campaigns/fairtrade/coffee/

Speaking of coffee - StarBucks-- I love them. But I read the other day the milk they use is Bad shit milk. I have complained to them. You can too using the link below.
Protest Starbucks: National Week of Action June 19th-25th
Despite over five years of grassroots pressure, Starbucks continues to serve milk from cows that are injected with genetically engineered recombinant bovine growth hormone, also known as rBGH or rBST. http://www.organicconsumers.org/starbucks/

Also Mars,/ M&M's are also baddies. John Mars and his family own the 3rd largest private company in the United states and have a personal fortune of over $10 billion each. Yet they still want to screw the coca growers out of a fair price for their coco beans. Which make the chocolate which makes their billions.

Despite such overwhelming appeals for Fair Trade, M&M/Mars continues to refuse to offer Fair Trade Certified chocolate, and reiterates total faith in the industry Protocol and other development projects. Despite the good intentions behind these efforts, none ensures the minimum price producers need, and the independent certification that consumers want. FULL ARTICLE -http://www.globalexchange.org/campaigns/fairtrade/cocoa/mmmars.html

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Need your life changed?

Need to change someone's else's life?

Then read this book ---- Jane Goodalls - Harvest for hope www.harvestforhope.com


It's a life changing book.
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Alarm has just sounded on my mobile to remind me to get my ass in gear and get on my bike as I am off to the dentist now- Yes even retards / retreads have to look after their teeth.

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Looking for a little democracy in your life, ----- well look no further.http://www.democracynow.org/

The news Fox and the other "Truth in the news" channels don't want you to hear about.

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The Meatrix 2 is now available to view. Click link.
http://www.themeatrix2.com
Do not miss this.

Another is Storewars http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html

Or if you really really want to Meet your Meat click here
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16.17 pm

Back from the dentist.
He never turned up for my appointment. Only the dental psycho bitch was on who was treble jobbing, working reception, doing hygienist and general dogs body.

As soon as she saw me I knew I was in trouble. She rolled back the large glass windows which separate the receptionist for the low life patients and the rest of the world.

"Appointment with Mr Backer" She said with a little grin and a gleam in her eyes.
"Yes , 13.40" (twenty minutes to two -USA time).

" Well Mr Backer is still on vacation so I am taking care of all his patients" A look of horror must have crossed my face and then without warning she opened fire on me- firing questions at me from all angles.

"Why did you not return since our last appointment with me 6 weeks ago"? "I never got to finish the job on you". I told you it was a 3 course treatment. I expected you to made the 3rd appointment. Now we'll just have to start all over again.

I was going to tell her the truth, which is she is a butcher and should NOT be doing the dental job and stick to answering the phone. She shows NO Mercy. She actually is responsible for breaking my front tooth and then I had to pay Mr Backer to cap it.

Before I could the words " I want to make another appointment with Mr Backer" out she had me lead into her web and got busy making my mouth a chamber of pain. As luck would have it Dog was on my side and between answering several calls, door buzzer and questions from the other waiting poor sods I managed to get out after a 15 minute session.

" I want you back here tomorrow , same time" to finish you off. she let me know half way through the 15 minute session I found it impossible to say NO as she still had several sharp instruments still in my mouth when she informed me of this.

Telephone rang once again.

Ok Mr R, see you tomorrow. Do you need me to write down the time or will you remember it.

I'll remember it, I replied.

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Well well well at 16.43 in scrolled 2 of my most regular readers

Sara Merritt & Big Al.

We had an official escape office photo session together which due to several mishaps went on longer that first thought.

Between blurred photos and mothership not having ever used a digital camera before and even thought you still looked throught a viewing lens.
(never owned a camera in her life and never took photos of anything or anyone). Truth.

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more later after SPELL CHECK.

22.41

Well I spelled checked the above and it's about 77% correct a record for any of my blog enteries so I must be getting better at the spelling. The full stops, comma's and grammar I am still working on.

Well day 1 without Giuseppe went very smoothly, no noise, no fights, no raised voices, no screaming matches. If paradise is half as nice I just cannot wait to get there.

well my friends and dearest readers, I am signing off for tonight,

My pain is quite bad at present so I am off to pop a few pills.

Over and Out

Robbie

More pain for Robbie - MRI Scan

Hello Dearest readers.
It's me the one armed Robbie, I am so sorry I have not been blogging but I have pain still. Killer pain , Blog killing pain the kind of pain you would kill to get rid of.

Had MRI Scan the other day and I am waiting for the bad news.

When one is in pain it some how affects your ability to Blog.

I cannot think of anything to bog about accept pain.

So I guess the subject today is pain.

Pain is not nice, I never had pain before, well I had the odd tummy ache from over eating at Christmas but never pain like this.
I have had over 12 operations in my life so far but all voluntary except one. None of which caused pain like this.

I do not like them places called hospitals. Once you start letting them guys near you. It's bye bye black bird. Try as hard as you can to keep away from them. My father is 75 and has never been in hospital except the one time getting his eye sight corrected. He has always sworn that you have a much higher chance of dying if you go into a hospital than if you stay at home. Any now a days you do read a lot more about hospitals being a breeding ground for killer germs.

Anyway I will know on Monday if I have to have an operation or not.

Robbie the sickest Retard in all Amsterdam.

The return of Brendan - day 65 of 65

Well well well today's the day. Day 65 of 65 , the final day . THE RETURN OF BRENDAN DAY. If you go down to office today ones in for a big surprise because gathered their for certain of course will be BB or what's left of him after a 36 hour travel indurance course, Sydney to Bangkok, then Bangkok to London then London back to Wonderland.

Problem is we do not know this arrival time so we are busy getting his desk cleaned and polished. We did try grill his arrival time out of Caroline (Ball of Fluff) but she is some tough cookie and is a hard egg to break, nut to crack a real double dutch sort of girl. Even using the special retard truth syrup which we managed to get her to down half a bottle of it without her knowing but without much trouble as it's quite fond of most things which some in large wine shaped bottles.

Within a few minutes of her first few glasses she started talking and kept it up, we heard it all, the long the short and the small and even the tall, we all sorts of stuff but not the required information. Everything but.

Shutting her one was the main problem after 14 hours of hearing nothing but the truth , stuff you just don't want to hear. Truth about this, that, him, her, me, Giuseppe, her mother and father, 65 days of travel truth and nothing but the truth it gets to a point when swords are drawn and killer beaming eyes start to look for their first victim. " You really hate me do ya"? " You said that about me" . " I agree" . " Bollox". "No way I never said that" "He's a f...... liar" , More bollox and even more of the same. "What the hell". "You bastard". Bla Bla Bla.

Finally we had to drug her and put her to bed to shut her up.

Anyway we never did find out Brendan's arrival time so we are busy busy busy with 2 months shit piled up on top of it which had to be sorted or dumped mothership and Emmett got stuck in.

Giuseppe was barred from helping as his sorting skills are still developing.
His idea of sorting a desk piled with stuff is still the black bag trick .
1. Hold open black bag
2. Use extended arm and start at one end of desk, shelf or any counter top which is to be sorted.
3. Move arm in a straight direction along the surface sweeping everthing in sight along it and off the other end straight into the black sack. " Sorted" Giuseppe style.

3.40PM
Brendan arrives back.
Hugs, kisses, teard, relief and every other emotion you can imagine and even some you cannot.

Brendan and Giuseppe dragged all BB's bags upstairs to his apartment but on opening the door it looked like a war zone. ball of fluff is back less than 48 hours and has turned a newly cleaned apartment looking like a $1 million dollars into a 1* flea pit. Bags, food, nickers all just thrown onto the floor, Tuesday's & Wednesday's dinner plates with the remains of both just piled into the sink.

They saw several mice tucking into a half eaten sandwich left on the window seat and went over to interview them.
Johnny & Michael Mouse explained all the going in the apartment since their (BB's & B.O.F's) departure back in March.

Pickings have been lousey and with the entire apartment cleaned from top to bottom within two days of them leaving they were starving to death. At one point they had a general mouse meeting and voted 2/1 to pack their bags and move on.

They went on complain about dirty tricks being used against them and that they had lost two of their gang in an ambush recently in the kitchen area. (Mouse traps). Posion was one thing , "We can handle that" but them traps ." We are totally blind you know". They said they were offically complaining and Brendan would be hearing from their lawyers. (Brendan agreed several years ago only to use poison and then only when forced to by BOF). Brendan loves all Dogs creatures and cannot stand cruelty to anything or anyone. Will not even kill a fly, catches them and lets them out the window, this goes for all crawling or flying things which most of us squash on first sight but not our Brendan. He loves them all.

Brendan arrived back into the office after a short time after he had carryied out the three s's - shower, shit and shave and looked like a new man.

"BB reporting for duty" he announced.

We told him things had changed since his departure and that we had invested in a new booking system as well as new phones and other bits and bobs. Brendan is a creature of habit and does NOT LIKE change.

Anyway within a short time he seemed to take to the new system like a fish out of water -say no more for now but I'l keep you posted.

Well it's heading into the 6th of May real soon so if I do not stop typing now I will be a day behind or even ahead of myself and you know what that can lead too. No not piles.

Well it's good night from me and it's good night from me. I did tell you I am 2 persons in the one Dog.

Over and onwards

Robbie Retard
It's not be baby, it's the mints.

The return of Robbie

Hello dearest readers it's a one armed Robbie here.
I have to type with my left hand only so my typing may be even worse than usual and with my spell cheker out of order and my eye sight fading I hope you will be able to understand most of this load of .........

Well today we got some surprising news. When Bendan and Ball of fluff left back in March we naturally thought they would arrive back together on May 5th as they were supposed too.

Not a bit of it. Ball of fluff arrives back here in less than 5.35 minutes .6.35am to be totally accurate and with guest in here apartment NOT checking out until midday and the contents of her apartment presently residing in Motherships already over cramped, overflowing studio bedsit it's total mayhem.

We thought we would have 3 days to get the place back to March 5th state but now are plans are totally twarted and we have been caught, like rats in a trap.

What's wrong with that I hear you ask, --- I'm getting there, I am trying to give you a bit of build up and you guys want me to skip right to the punch line.

Well minutes before leaving way back on March 5th ball of fluff visited mothership and got her to swear on a pile of Gideons that she would

1. Allow no parties to be held in her apartment by Giuseppe or even worse a Derek the devil two day bash (now famous all over Amsterdam) as is the Devil himself.

2. Not rent out her apartment while she was away as her stuff was not put away and it would all be messed up, lost, broken, stolen or worse.

After mothership swearing on a room full of Guideons left behind by a previous guest, ball of fluff went away happy and had a big smile on her face knowing that mothership was a womon of her word and her apartment was in safe hands. In fact safeer hands would be hard to find.

As she and Brendan headed off accross the square on their way to the train station to start their two month escape the 1st guests were arriving for their apartment actually passing them on Nieuwmarkt square.

Giuseppe behind all our backs had been advertising their apartment on a web site and had nearly fully booked it for the entire 2 months in an efford to pay off all his credit card debts and other creditors.

Well just another story waiting to unfold.

We'll go live later today for the return of the fluff herself.

Now 1.24am here so I must hit the hay and make play.

over and out

Robbie
The one armed Retard