When we use sex providers, it is not uncommon to worry about issues that would be important in a non-paid situation, such as dating or getting into a relationship. Should age be a concern when visiting a prostitute? Are there any legal problems you need to be aware of? And how do the prostitutes feel about it?
Age is a huge issue in our culture and there is a growing taboo, mainly driven by the interests of older women, that stigmatizes men for dating younger women. The feeling is that, if a middle-aged man is dating a college-aged women or, indeed, any woman in her twenties, he must be somehow taking advantage of her. It doesn’t matter that the both the man and woman are single adults, supposedly free to make their own decisions, it doesn’t matter if the woman has an absolute preference for older guys, the assumption is that the man is being a monstrous sleaze-ball.
It actually takes a lot of men by surprise but, once you hit 40, many of your female friends and acquaintances will suddenly begin to voice the opinion that you really should start dating women “your own age”. This is pretty horrifying if, just a matter of weeks before your birthday, it was okay to date women in their thirties - now you have been placed in a different box and the women in your life would be much more comfortable if you could be a good boy, stay in the box and, possibly, invite over some nice pensioner.
The roots of this stigma are fairly obvious: the fear, stretching right back through human history, that a woman’s breadwinner will lose interest and abandon her for a younger woman. In the past, this fear would have mainly manifested itself in a deep distrust of younger or prettier women, often leading to social exclusion or, even, physical attack. In our modern age, however, the same set of self-interests have reconfigured themselves into the certainty that all younger women are victims and all older men are, essentially, abusers.
In the case of using prostitutes, it should not be a problem unless you are turning up to social functions with an escort in tow as your “date” - that does seem to happen quite often, apparently a form of mid-life crisis that somehow persuades the guy that his friends, colleagues and family will not realize she is an escort. They will.
If you are, however, merely visiting a prostitute, whether in the windows of Amsterdam’s Red Light District, or in a brothel somewhere, you do not need to worry about what other people think, it all boils down to two people: you and the sex worker.
The Sex Worker’s Attitude to Your Age
A truly professional sex worker will not give a damn about your age, race, physical condition or looks. From their perspective, what matters is that you are clean, polite, respectful and able to engage in friendly chat, making the situation a lot more natural for both of you. It is a tough industry but, if a sex worker is going to survive in it longterm, she has to learn to treat it as a job and, even, take some professional pride in her role. This usually translates into someone with a relaxed, positive and down-to-earth attitude about what they do.
Many sex workers are actually proud to talk about their oldest client being in his eighties, or that they have regular clients with severe physical disabilities - one of my fondest memories of the Red Light District, as a first-time visitor over two decades ago, was seeing a beautiful blonde prostitute, in a glossy bikini, cheerfully helping a client maneuver his wheelchair into her room.
Given the broad sweep of humanity who come a knockin’ on their window, the vast majority of Red Light sex workers should be delighted to have a nice, if somewhat older, gentleman who looks as if he is not only hygienic but might, also, know how to spell it.
As it happens, many girls are wary of the “hot” younger guys because they tend to be rude, impolite and, all too frequently, of the opinion that they really shouldn’t have to pay.
When you do come across a sex worker who acts in an unfriendly or hostile manner, it might just be that she is having a bad day but it is far more likely that she simply has not come to terms with how she makes money. In those situations, she would probably be just as sour no matter what your age was, you just have to write it off as one of the bad experiences you are bound to have occasionally with P4P (Pay for Play) and don’t let it get to you, don’t overanalyze it, don’t let it dent your confidence.
Your Attitude to Your Age
The reality is that your attitude towards your age is likely to be far more important than her attitude. Again, you are up against a whole phalanx of social programming which, all your life, has been telling you that age gaps matter and that you are now being a creepy old man. The worst thing is that, if you are walking around the windows with the burden of this self-imposed negativity, that will be reflected in first impressions that the girls have of you - they are experts at quickly picking up on and processing signals that you might not even be aware that you are sending.
My advice is to wake up and realize that all prostitution is meant to be a form of temporary delusion. Your job is to let go and enjoy the fantasy that you can have sex with a hot young woman. Her job, literally, is to artfully conspire in your fantasy and to do her best to give a convincing impression of someone who is actually delighted to be squirming around beneath you.
While it is sadly all too easy for middle-aged guys to go a bit mad and start believing the fantasy, particularly with escorts or in countries where low-end prostitution is deliberately designed to be more “natural”, such as Thailand, you should not have that problem in Amsterdam’s Red Light District. Your experience will be limited to the confines of a small room and a set, fleeting measure of time.
When she opens the door to you and you negotiate a price, she is accepting you as a client - if she has any problem with your age, no-one is forcing her to do that. When your time is up, she may have the good marketing sense to tell you how much she enjoyed it and how much she would like to see you again but, make no mistake, as soon as you are out the door, she will not think of you again until you next turn up with the right amount of Euros, your age is completely immaterial to the transaction.
So, embrace the fantasy and swan about the Red Light District like the hot stud you want to be: as long as you are not drunk, or a ranting madman or you too obviously have shit smeared on your clothes, you will be fine, all of these women (and, indeed, several streets of ladyboys) are your’s for the picking. Enjoy it and don’t waste any of your valuable Amsterdam minutes worrying about your age.
Age and the Law
The age of consent in The Netherlands is 16 years of age and sex workers in the Red Light District Amsterdam must at least 18 years of age in order to get a window, so, it is reasonable to claim that a girl’s presence in a window is sufficient proof that she is of age. Obviously, be suspicious if you come across one who only accepts payment in lollipops. Also, there is at least one I can think of who wears a school uniform but I suspect it might not be real, she is at least sixty.
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